


i know i can't stay too long (i don't belong here)

by flyersgiroux



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Getting Together, I am not a doctor I did no research, Multi, Pining, Threesome - F/M/M, brief Christmas themes at the end, but don't take the medical details seriously, catching feelings, cute baby is cute, dumbasses need to learn how to communicate, injuries are the biggest cock block, recovery fic, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyersgiroux/pseuds/flyersgiroux
Summary: But when it became clear that not only was the best option for this surgery going to be all the way in Philly and that the first week or so of recovery was on the painful side, Sid knew he probably was gonna be stuck in the city for a while.He really wasn’t thinking when he called Claude and dumped all that information on him.  All Sid could think of was that if there was anyone in that city he was okay with being this hurt and vulnerable around, it was Claude.  Even if deep down, there was a little voice asking himself if Giroux even cared enough…“So…do you think I could recuperate at your place?”“I…I guess?  But…you know we’ve got a baby at home, right?”a.k.a. This is what happens when you put the words "Philadelphia" and "Sidney Crosby" together in a sentence.  I make a fic out of it.
Relationships: Claude Giroux/Ryanne Giroux, Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux, Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux/Ryanne Giroux, Sidney Crosby/Ryanne Giroux
Comments: 5
Kudos: 140





	i know i can't stay too long (i don't belong here)

**Author's Note:**

> Getting this one in right at the tail end of Christmas...but hey, considering I have another fic that I've been working on for literally months, the fact that this one is done at all is a holiday miracle.
> 
> This all started because of the absolutely true - you can look this up - fact that Sidney Crosby had to get his sports hernia surgery done in Philly. As a Flyers fan who's an absolute traitor because they really love Sidney Crosby, this made all the bells go off in my head.
> 
> I began to picture what it would be like for Sid to arrive at Claude's apartment, fresh off of surgery, and for whatever reason, the image came to my head of Claude with baby Gavin in hand, deciding he'll teach his son a lesson about how you treat a Pittsburgh Penguin by slamming the door on Sid. With that, it meant Ryanne had to get involved. And that meant...welcome to this threesome that I'm sure nobody asked for for Christmas, but I'm hoping it makes you as happy as writing this fic made me.
> 
> As I say in the tags, don't take anything I say about Sid's recovery and injury seriously, because, really, everything I say about it in this fic all came from conversations within one of my discord servers. That's as much "research" as I put into it. I can't verify any of this shit. So if you're a medical expert and you actually know a thing or two about sports hernias, I'm so sorry for whatever pain this puts you through to read.
> 
> Title comes from Lovesick Mistake by Erin McCarley

“Is there really nowhere closer you can get the surgery done?”

Sid just shrugged his shoulders. “I weighed the options, and this one seems like the best.”

Which wasn’t a lie. The team physician really was pushing for him to get the procedure done with a specialist in Philadelphia. From everything Sid heard, it really did seem like this surgeon was above and beyond qualified. And if he was really going to commit to this, to go under the knife and miss weeks of the season instead of just trying to manage the pain and push it off further (like he honestly really wanted to, but the team was insistent otherwise), he needed to be sure that this went off without a hitch.

But also…Sid was certainly dodging around the reason why he didn’t push back and try to find something a little closer to home.

“It just seems like bullshit that you gotta go all the way to _that _city.”

The venom in those words. Sid remembered clearly when he would’ve spoken in the exact same way. “I don’t like them. I don’t like anyone on their team.” Maybe on the surface, it didn’t seem very biting, but it wasn’t often that Sid would actively call out an opponent like that.

But Philadelphia had stopped being “_that _city” for a while.

You hook up with Claude Giroux in the midst of celebrating a gold medal at Worlds and suddenly everything about the Flyers goes from being absolutely loathsome to just a little annoying.

And then when you subsequently keep hooking up with him…the more Philadelphia turns into a city you eagerly await visiting.

Honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure why Claude kept hooking up with him. The first time it happened, Sid could chalk it up to them being drunk and high on victory. But also, he remembered Claude talking with him during the tournament about his beautiful girl. “If we make it to the finals, she might be able to fly out here for that. I honestly hope so. She’s my good luck charm.”

Sid honestly woke up the next morning after their celebration sex feeling more guilty over helping Claude cheat than over the idea that he slept with _Claude Giroux _– his fucking rival – in the first place. He was too hungover to even want to unpack what that meant.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! We have an open relationship.”

“What?”

As it turned out, Claude and Ryanne had very early on in their relationship sat down to have a bit of a raw and surprisingly mature discussion about the ups and downs of dating and hockey. When half your games don’t take place at home, that’s a lot of time to spend away from each other. And they both agreed that it might not be entirely fair to ask each other to not want to just hook up with people sometimes. Who knows if Claude ever found someone on the road? What if Ryanne was lonely one night back in Philly? People have sexual urges, and it might just be easier to go with the flow and accept that whatever happens happens.

Which was probably a good thing, because Claude did not expect this to be one of his hookups. Neither did Sid. It took both of them by surprise, and honestly, Sid had no memory of how they even got to the hotel. This right here was why Sid didn’t go get drunk often.

“The main thing is that we have to be open and honest with each other. Meaning…I have to tell her I slept with Sidney Crosby. God, I’m never gonna be allowed to live that down…”

Sid started freaking out about that, however. “You have to promise me right now that she will tell _no one_ about this.”

“Why would she? She has no reason to throw me under the bus, which would happen if she did.”

Which, fair.

But even though neither of them really remembered much about that night, apparently what did stick in their minds was how good the sex was. Because the next time they played against each other, Claude made a move on him. Sid couldn’t seem to say no. After that, they just kept coming back to each other.

And not even marriage seemed to change that. When Claude proposed to Ryanne, Sid got a text about it insisting that the rules hadn’t changed. The relationship was still just as open as ever. Claude just also wanted to commit to a life with Ryanne forever. It made Sid’s head spin a bit with the logic of it all.

However, with their first game after the engagement, after Sid and the rest of the Pens beat the Flyers out at Heinz Field, he wasn’t sure if he was going to actually see Claude that night. No amount of insistence made Sid feel confident that this would continue. Why would Claude want to seek out Sid for stupid sex when he’d gone and found the love of his life? Plus, with a special outdoor game like this, he was sure Ryanne had made the trip. It wasn’t like Claude could break out the overused and worn out excuse of “I’m alone in Pittsburgh, and I’m horny” for this one. (Though, Claude also kept inviting Sid over in Philly, where he and Ryanne shared a place now, so that excuse was even more of a hollow formality.)

Yet, there he was, ringing the bell to be let in. When Sid answered and came face-to-face with him, Claude actually looked a little sheepish. “Ah…Ryanne told me I was being too pouty about the loss and needed to go, I quote, ‘fuck my boyfriend to feel better.’”

In favor of ignoring that Ryanne was calling them boyfriends (because that was a little too much to process right now), Sid just laughed in Claude’s face at how she was pushing her fiancé off on him. He could imagine it in his head. “Nope, you’re too much for me tonight, he can deal with you instead.”

But it was also the confirmation Sid needed that even with their engagement, apparently things were still okay between him and Claude. Hell, Ryanne was _encouraging_ this for Claude for whatever reason. So, they still hooked up for any and every rivalry game. Even as recently as a couple days before Halloween.

Though that was…an interesting night.

“What the fuck is wrong with your face?”

“Tanger slap shot.”

“Friendly fire? Really?”

“I think it was karmic justice playing out. I managed to hit one of the Stars in the face earlier that night. It looked _bad_.”

“God, Sid…” Claude leaned in closer to examine the full extent of the swelling and bruising. “That’s so fucked up…it looks bad enough that you’ll need one of those face masks on tomorrow night.”

“I will not.” (Claude ended up being right and chirped him relentlessly for it. But who won the game seven to one? Not you, Claude.)

“Fuck…am I really this desperate for sex that I’ll fuck you looking like this?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Alright, if you insist.”

It was going fine until Sid felt pain shoot up near his abs. And this wasn’t the type of pain he sometimes asked for in bed. It was a muscle cramp. His sports hernia really had to go and cock block him. Granted, it was a _groin_ injury, so he should’ve known this would happen…

“Whoa, Sid, are you alright?” Claude immediately pushed himself off and away Sid, giving him space to deal with it.

Sid could only shake his head no.

“Fuck, are you falling apart on me?”

When the pain subsided, Sid explained that this had been flaring up all season. “It’s been going back to training camp. But it’s fine. I’m fine. I can usually manage it enough to play, so…I’m fine.”

“Fine my ass. Sid, what the fuck? Let someone look at you, that doesn’t seem–”

“Just let me deal with this, Giroux.”

That got Claude to shut up. They never used last names with each other anymore unless they were angry. And Sid was pissed. He honestly wanted to shout at him about why he even cares, anyways. It’s not like they were anything more than rivals that had sex for the sake of it. Claude shouldn’t have been worrying, didn’t need to worry.

But…Sid knew he didn’t need to be going and pissing Claude off entirely. Besides, he was also afraid of Claude digging in too deep and getting at the core of Sid’s anger…so he did his best to just drop the conversation. 

Sid told Claude that if he wanted to leave, he could. It didn’t seem like he’d be getting what he came here for, so he wasn’t obligated to stick around. But Claude just said, “Your bed’s more comfortable than what’s at the hotel,” and curled up under the covers. “I’ll just get up early and join the team for practice in the morning.”

Sid kept playing. Even with a stupid mask on, even with the flaring pain, he kept playing. Part of it was that the team needed him. Everyone around him kept dropping like flies. The team was being held together by AHL players and duct tape at this point. While he was proud of the efforts the call-ups and the bottom six players gave to even still give this team a fighting chance, Sid knew that if he went down? It would cause the bottom to fall out. He just had to keep playing, keep pushing. If he kept managing it the way that he had, surely he could push off treatment until the offseason.

Then came the Chicago Blackhawks.

One bad move on the ice, and the pain went from manageable to excruciating.

He was no longer fit to be playing hockey. It didn’t matter how many other guys on the team were still down right now, Sid was incapable of getting out on the ice. He pushed it too far, and so the time for surgery had to be _now_.

But when it became clear that not only was the best option for this surgery going to be all the way in Philly and that the first week or so of recovery was on the painful side, Sid knew he probably was gonna be stuck in the city for a while.

He really wasn’t thinking when he called Claude and dumped all that information on him. All Sid could think of was that if there was anyone in that city he was okay with being this hurt and vulnerable around, it was Claude. Even if deep down, there was a little voice asking himself if Giroux even cared enough…

“So…do you think I could recuperate at your place?”

“I…I guess? But…you know we’ve got a baby at home, right?”

Fuck. That was true. He hadn’t been into Philly yet this season, so it kind of escaped his mind that the version of the Girouxs’ apartment he knew wasn’t going to be the same anymore.

“Yeah, but...I don’t know where else I could go. And like I said, I can probably handle a ride through the city. But all the way back to Pittsburgh? I might need knocked out cold for that.”

“Alright, alright. I just wanted to be sure you knew what you were doing. So when you’re cleared to go, just let me and Ryanne know when you’re ready to be picked up, eh?”

“No, no, I’ve got it. I honestly don’t know how long I could be there…and I know you two have your own lives. I’ve got the keys you gave me. I’ll just find a ride and let myself in.”

“You sure?” Claude honestly sounded wary over the phone.

“I’ll be fine. Just…thanks for letting me stay.”

* * *

When his ride dropped him off at the Girouxs’ apartment building, Sid was given an offer for help to make it to the specific room. “No, no thank you. I’ve got this. Thanks.”

Part of it was because Sid was pretty confident that he did have this. Okay, so he was on painkillers. And okay, the core muscles were still fucked up enough that he needed a crutch to move around. But he could do this. Seriously.

The other part was that he did not need anyone catching onto the fact of exactly whose apartment he was gonna be recovering at. He hoped that it wasn’t common knowledge that this was Claude Giroux’s exact building of residence. That the driver wouldn’t put two and two together anyways. But Sid wasn’t going to make it any easier for anyone to know what was happening here. In fact, he pulled the brim of his cap down low and covered it with the hood of his sweatshirt to hopefully disguise his face as he let himself in. He almost wished he had a pair of sunglasses on him too for extra coverage.

As he got out of the car, he had a bag of stuff on one shoulder, and then the crutch under his other arm. He had this. This would be easy.

Okay, so it was a bit of a struggle to get the keys out of his pocket, but he was at least able to fish them out. He swiped the one that would let him into the building, and made his way directly to the elevator as fast as he could while leaning on a crutch. Which admittedly wasn’t as fast as he wished it would be. Sid’s heart was pounding as he was afraid of getting caught in the act. The fear of someone pulling him aside and asking, “Are you Sidney Crosby? What are _you _doing here?” was too intense. It didn’t matter how many times he’d been in this Rittenhouse apartment before. One of these days, he knew he was going to get caught. And yet, that anxiety somehow never stopped him.

Honestly, what was so special about Claude Giroux that he kept pushing through this? Surely if he needed laid, there were easier ways of going about it.

But he knew it had gone beyond just the sex. It’s why he was here now.

He made it all the way to Claude’s floor, went down the hallway, made it to the door, and…

“Oh no.”

The keys in Sid’s hand weren’t really _keys_. It was just one key. Single.

“Where the fuck did it go?” Sid started looking down at the ground, hoping maybe it had only just fallen off the key ring. He was certain both keys were there when he stuck them in his pockets. He dropped his bag down to try to rummage back in his pocket. Maybe when awkwardly fishing them out earlier it got stuck in his pocket. But there was nothing to be found but a little bit of lint.

Sid just sighed and started to knock on the door. Surely they had to be home. They knew he was coming at around this time, they had to be there to greet him, right?

When he opened the door, Claude was standing there, holding his son in his arms.

“He’s so cute,” were the first words to tumble out of Sid’s mouth. Which was honestly a little embarrassing, but also, he’d never seen the baby in person before. And Sid was such a sucker for kids and babies. Also, maybe this would help deflect from why he was knocking on the door in the first place.

“I know. Why couldn’t you just use your key?” Okay, so much for that.

“I…I seemed to have lost it.”

Claude gave Sid a look that honestly made him feel like sinking into the floor. It was a look that said: “I can’t trust you with anything.”

Claude then looked at the baby in his arms and said, “I’m gonna teach you something today. You see this man right here? He’s one of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Do you know what we do a Pittsburgh Penguin? Especially when they go and lose their keys?” Claude paused, eagerly looking at the little guy as if he’d actually have an answer. Honestly, Sid wasn’t sure he wanted to know what this answer was. “No? Well, we do this.”

Before Sid could even call out, the door was slammed shut in his face.

Sid started knocking on the door again, eventually switching to pounding his fist against the door. Though, it wasn’t as loud and powerful as it could’ve been. His dominant arm was currently still gripping onto the crutch.

“Come on, this isn’t funny!”

Eventually he gave up, just staring forlornly at the door. Yeah, losing the apartment key was a bad look. But he didn’t deserve this.

“Sidney?”

Ah, shit. Who recognized him? Sid looked over at where the voice was coming from, and he realized with relief that he was only face-to-face with Ryanne Giroux. Though the relief didn’t last long when he remembered how little they actually interacted. He mostly recognized her from pictures Claude sent him (why he felt the need to do that, Sid would never know) or in brief glimpses as he was stealing out of the apartment. It was usually dim outside or even fully pitch-black when he was leaving, though. And if he was being honest, he never took the time to acknowledge her much because he hated facing her. Despite knowing that she was okay with this, with what her husband chose to do with his sex life, Sid felt guilty about it.

But somehow not so guilty that he didn’t keep coming back.

Though, seeing her here now, in bright light, being forced to actually _look_ at her…wow. Ryanne was absolutely gorgeous. Photos couldn’t speak to her beauty. And this was while she was all bundled up in a coat, toque, and scarf (as always, Pennsylvania had its two weeks of fall and was now already in winter mode) and carrying a few bags of groceries in her arms.

Now Sid was once again wondering why Claude kept fucking _him _when he had someone that beautiful at home. Someone to actually love.

But he realized that he was just staring at her like a complete moron. “Um…hi? I, uh…I lost the door key.” Yeah, that helped the complete moron thing _perfectly_, good job, Sidney.

“Claude warned me you were gonna be here. That’s why I went and got these.” She lifted up the groceries a little to show what she was referring to. “Gotta make sure there’s enough to feed everyone.”

Sid stared a bit warily at the groceries, not sure if what was in there was in line with his nutrition plan. Then again…she was a hockey player’s wife. Even if he and Claude didn’t have the exact same diets, it couldn’t be _bad _for him. They both had to eat things to optimize their health and performance. Ryanne had to know what she was doing when buying food.

She placed the bags down on the ground as she rummaged around for her keys.

“I could help with that.”

Ryanne looked Sid up and down as she said “You’re using a crutch. I’ve got this.”

“But–”

“Nope, I’m supposed to be helping you, not the other way around. And if you are anything like my husband,” Ryanne said as she started to unlock the door, “I know you are gonna try to push things sooner than you should because you’re impatient and stubborn.”

“Uhh…” Sid wasn’t going to confirm or deny that.

“That’s what I thought. So I’m just gonna try to nip those habits in the bud.” She opened the door and held it for Sid as he hobbled his way into the apartment. He sighed a little as he realized he was probably gonna have to put up with being fully coddled while he was here. And while the attention wouldn’t be fully on Sid because of the baby, he realized said baby also meant that Ryanne would now have newfound Mommy Instincts. Sid was doomed.

Sid took one glance around the apartment, saw the completely unoccupied couch, and the slight, nagging pain the surgery was still giving him was telling him to go lie down there. He hobbled his way over and saw that Claude was sitting in the lounge chair, holding his baby close. “Hi, Claude,” Sid mumbled. “Guess I don’t need you to be let in.”

“Oh, Claude, you’re home?” Ryanne asked, confusion in her voice evident as Sid could also hear her placing the groceries on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Someone’s gotta take care of Gavy.”

Sid let himself sink into the couch and he vowed that he wasn’t gonna get up for the next 24 hours. Or at least the next 10 minutes.

Sid watched as Ryanne came out to the living room herself. “I saw Sidney standing out there like a lost puppy and thought you two must’ve gone out yourselves or something.”

“Nah, I was just messing with Sid since he had to go and lose his keys.”

“Claude.” Ryanne was nearly staring daggers at her husband. Claude actually looked a little concerned. “He’s come off of surgery, and you’re just gonna leave him out there?”

“Come on, it’s not _that _bad, is it? Croz?”

“It actually was kinda rude, Giroux,” Sid asserted. “Didn’t you hear me knocking to be let back in?”

“See?” Ryanne really looked like she couldn’t believe Claude. Yet Sid really wasn’t surprised by any of this. Claude Giroux is an asshole, the sky is blue, etc.

Why did Sid think that it would be a good idea to shack up here while he recovered, again?

As he looked closer at Ryanne, he realized she was also carrying his bag. The bag he dropped down out in the hallway as he tried to find the missing key.

“Oh, shoot, I didn’t mean to leave that out there, Ryanne. You didn’t have to get it.”

“It’s okay. You’re our guest here. Just focus on resting up.”

* * *

Apparently, Sid took those words to heart, because he didn’t know how exactly he managed to fall asleep on the couch, but seeing that the natural daylight coming through the windows had been replaced with darkness, he knew he’d passed out.

And unfortunately, he didn’t seem to have woken up just because he was rested.

“Ow, fuck…”

“Hey, not in front of Gavy.”

Sid squinted through the pain to see Claude on the floor next to Gavin. It looked like it was play time going by all the toys scattered everywhere. Toys that also must’ve been appealing to the dogs, because the next thing to come out of Claude’s mouth was, “Charlie, no, that’s not yours.”

“Where’s my bag?” Sid managed to groan out.

“You okay, Sid? God, Charlie, what did I say? Stay away from Gavy’s toys.”

“What do you need?” Ryanne asked him, coming straight to his side.

“Pain meds.”

Sid tried biting his lip in an attempt to block out the pain, but it wasn’t working. He was told this was going to happen, that the first couple of days would be in and out with flashes of excruciating pain as he healed from the surgery, but christ. This was _agony_.

Ryanne came back with the meds in one hand and a glass of water in the other, intently reading the prescription before dumping out the dosage.

“Thanks,” Sid croaked out before taking the pills and chasing them down with the water. It was gonna be a bitch and a half waiting for them to kick in.

“If you need me, I’ll be working on dinner.”

“Charlie, you have your own toys,” Claude scolded. “These are not those. Why can’t you be like Harv and mind your own business?”

This was a clusterfuck of an apartment right now. At least listening to Claude struggle with keeping a tiny little labradoodle in line was kind of funny. Hell, Sid would probably be laughing his ass off if he didn’t feel like his groin was ready to implode.

He could hear Claude sigh deeply before saying, “I’m sorry, Sid. I warned you this place is a disaster anymore.”

“It’s fine.”

“You don’t _sound_ fine.”

“I’m in pain.”

“Do you need anything else? I can – Harvey! Not you, too! Bring that back!”

Okay, even while being in pain, Sid still managed to crack enough of a smile at that one.

“Ryanne, how do we get the dogs to stop stealing Gavy’s toys?”

“I don’t know,” she shouted from all the way in the kitchen, “but right now, I’m a little busy, so you’ll just have to deal with it.”

“You weren’t too busy to get him his meds! No offense, Sid.”

“I hadn’t started cutting the chicken then! Now my hands are all contaminated!”

“Maybe the smell of food will keep the dogs away…”

Sid could only vaguely think that he hoped the pain would go away in time for dinner.

Thankfully, it seemed like it. By the time the meds started kicking in, the food was still being cooked. It also seemed like the dogs had finally stopped trying to steal what wasn’t theirs, because he didn’t hear Claude yelling at them anymore.

What he did hear, though, was the sound of his phone going off in his pocket. As he pulled it out to answer it, he was a little confused as to why he was getting a call from Dumo.

“Hello?”

“Oh my god, Sid, I’m so glad we finally got you to pick up.”

Finally? Sid pulled his phone away long enough to look at his notifications, and surely enough, there were _many _missed calls from throughout the day.

“–and you weren’t answering, so we got really worried that something had gone wrong with the procedure and you weren’t getting out today after all and–”

“Whoa, Dumo, hey…nothing was wrong. I just haven’t been on my phone much today. Took a good nap, even.”

“So when are you arriving in Pittsburgh? I’ll come get you.”

“In a week and a half.”

There was a slight pause on the line before Dumo repeated, “A week and a half?”

“I’m staying here in Philadelphia for a bit.”

“Why the fuck?”

“Look, I’m still recovering from core surgery. I’m medicated as we speak to manage the lingering shooting pain from the operation. Travelling across the state isn’t the best thing for me right now. And it’s not like I’ll be here all six weeks–”

“If it doesn’t take longer.”

Sid sighed into the receiver. “Six weeks. I’m not even thinking about the possibility of it being longer than that right now. That’s already too much time. But I won’t be here for all of it. Even then, it’s not like Philly is without trainers or practice facilities.”

“But aren’t you out of your mind for wanting to spend weeks in the lion’s den while you’re vulnerable?”

“You make it sound like I’m gonna be throwing myself into a pit of Flyers fans. I’m gonna be holed up in an apartment most of the time, if not the _entire _time. And even so, I’ve got people looking out for me.” Sid looked over at Claude, who was still on the floor with the baby, messing around with the little toy mobile to get Gavin to play, or at least giggle a little. He was almost tempted to add on, “People who shouldn’t be looking out for me because they’ve got their own responsibilities to take care of…People that really only put up with me because I’m apparently a good lay.” Maybe Dumo was right. This was a bad idea.

But it was too late. If Sid tried to back out now and insist that he should just go home, he was pretty sure Claude and Ryanne would tie him down to a chair so he couldn’t go anywhere. (And he was absolutely _not_ going to think about how hot that would be…_especially_ to be thinking about _Ryanne_ that way.)

“Okay. You usually know what’s best for you. Shouldn’t doubt ya, cap. Just keep in better contact, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will.”

* * *

The pain meds were absolutely doing their wonders. By the time dinner came around, Sid was able to join everyone in the kitchen instead of remaining bedridden…well, couchridden.

It was still a little awkward, though. Sid felt like he was crashing in on something way too private and intimate. Which said a lot considering Sid was often in this apartment specifically to have sex with one half of the couple he was sitting with. There was nothing more private or intimate than that.

But it was a completely different type of privacy and intimacy that Claude and Ryanne shared. One that came with feelings attached to it. Sid was absolutely third wheeling it here in their presence.

“So…” Sid began, trying to break the silence, “how did you two meet anyways?” It was such a dumb question, but since he was thinking so much about them and them _together_…it was the first thing that came to mind.

Ryanne started to laugh. “It’s actually a funny story. I was at a party in Ottawa. This was the summer of…2012?” Her face scrunched up as she tried to remember the years.

“Yeah, 2012,” Claude affirmed, a slight edge to his voice that was honestly concerning. “I don’t forget that summer.”

“It just threw me off, because I can’t believe it’s been that long already. Seems like it was only a summer ago. But I was at this party, and I looked over and I saw this guy. He was trying his best to play some yard games and drink beer while done up in two wrist casts. All I could think was ‘I need to help him.’ From there, we seemed to hit it off pretty well.” She reached out and placed a hand over Claude’s wedding band, just to drive home the point.

“And that’s why I don’t forget that summer. You should probably remember that one, Croz. You’re the reason I even had to get the surgery in the….first…place.” As Claude’s speech slowed down, a look of dawning horror began to creep in. “God dammit!”

“Claude, what’s wrong?” Ryanne asked.

“Don’t you get it? _He’s _the reason we’re even together!” Claude nearly squeaked out, pointing at Sid. “Would you have even talked to me if my wrists weren’t in casts?”

Ryanne started mulling it over. “Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Maybe! But the casts are what guaranteed we met! Oh my god. What the fuck.”

Ryanne turned to look at Sid and just simply stated, “Well, thanks for breaking my husband all those years ago, then.” It sounded like such a routine statement, like it was just normal. But was there really anything normal about any of this in the first place? Two bitter rivals turned friends with benefits, and the one is married with a kid, but they’re all cool with an open relationship. Nah, nothing normal at all.

“Does this mean I still don’t have to apologize?” Sid asked Claude, completely wanting to be a little shit about this now. “I gave you your wife.”

“Don’t start, or I’ll go after that groin of yours.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“What, you think I care about you that much?”

Sid looked around the room just to confirm again that, yes, Gavin was in his bedroom while they ate. Didn’t want to taint the little one’s ears with what he was about to say. “No, but I’m sure you care about my dick that much.”

Ryanne absolutely lost it as Claude just glared at him.

“Also,” Sid said after a moment, “I’m sure Ryanne would murder you if you tried going after me.”

It took her a second to catch her breath, but she responded with, “Yeah, he’s right,” as she wrapped her arm around Sid’s shoulders. Sid’s own breath hitched a little at the contact, and he really hoped none of them noticed. “You’d have to get through me first.”

“I can’t believe you’re siding with him,” Claude mumbled.

“What can I say, my heart goes out to broken boys.”

Her…heart?

Sid felt his entire stomach turn into a solid brick of dread. No, she couldn’t possibly be saying…

He tried to go back to the dinner in front of him – which was extremely delicious, and he really wanted the recipe for it – but he found that his appetite had completely disappeared.

* * *

If his stomach had turned into a brick, then his heart was turning into a racing engine when it came to figure out sleeping arrangements.

“No, no, I swear, I can sleep on the couch!” Sid protested.

“You’re supposed to be here to _recover_, Sid,” Ryanne said, firmly but softly. “You may have been able to take a good nap there, but you need a proper bed to sleep in. You’ll be fine taking my place in my room. Plus, I’ll be able to bring the baby monitor out here, so _both of you_ can hopefully get some uninterrupted sleep.”

If Sid wasn’t so unwilling to start getting into a shouting match with her, he would’ve kept arguing about it throughout the night. But he ended up caving.

And that’s how he wound up sleeping next to Claude.

Obviously it wasn’t the first time they’d slept in the same bed. This wasn’t new territory. But it was the first time where there was no intent of sexual activity in the process.

That intimacy that Sid felt between Claude and Ryanne? Now he truly felt like he was intruding on it. Even though he’d stolen this very spot away from her before on other nights he’d come into Philly and had felt guilty about it then, too, this felt worse. Maybe it’s because this wasn’t just on the pretense of some hook up. This was all part of them working to take care of him. To show him something beyond just the emotion of being satiated by a good fuck.

It was a step too far.

If Claude was going to be _caring _for anyone in this bed, it was Ryanne. Not Sid.

God, what was he even doing here?

* * *

When he woke up the next day, Claude was already out of bed. In fact, as he got up and moved around the apartment – his groin feeling slightly sore with the movement, but not nearly anything like last night’s pain flare – he realized that Claude wasn’t there at all.

“He had to get going for his roadie,” Ryanne explained when he found her. She was in Gavin’s bedroom, changing his diaper. No one said motherhood was pretty. Even if the mother herself was breathtaking.

Though…Sid immediately felt guilty for thinking that.

“I’m gonna be taking Gavy and the dogs out for a walk around the neighborhood,” Ryanne said as she started looking through the drawers for something new to dress her son in. “I’m sure you’re not ready to come join us on our walk.”

“No. I’m a little sore. It’s manageable, but…”

“Don’t wanna risk it. I guessed as much. I was actually thinking about surprising you, but then I realized I’d probably get you something you didn’t like. But I usually get coffee while I’m out and about. It’s hard not to with so many options around here. Is there anything you’d like? Any locations you prefer? Or ones you’ve never tried?”

“Actually, I’m not really that big on coffee. I know, I know, ironic when Timmy’s is always recruiting me for commercials.”

But Ryanne didn’t seem to blink an eye at that. “Tea, then? Hot chocolate?”

“I think I’m good. But, thanks.”

Sid needed the faint little butterflies in his stomach to go away. It was just her being a nice hostess. This wasn’t something to get soft and mushy over.

After getting Gavin dressed, however, he suddenly started to cry.

“Oh, I think I know what _that _cry means…” Ryanne said.

And Sid realized he picked the absolute worst time to be looking over at her.

He had to tell himself that this was just breastfeeding. This was absolutely normal, natural. It was what breasts were meant to do in the first place. _That _was the purpose they served. It didn’t matter how much playing with them and twisting the nipples and sucking on them can make a woman moan in bed…or how particularly hot they looked.

Fuck. Sid was doomed. Because really, no amount of trying to rationalize this and remember the practicality of the situation was going to stop him from thinking about her this way. And really, he was pretty sure he didn’t need to see her breastfeeding her kid to reach this point. He was already getting there.

If Claude Giroux was (unfortunately) one half of Sid’s tastes – brash, unapologetic, biting, dry, confident – then Ryanne seemed to make up the other half – kind, playful, sassy, sweet, confident.

Doomed. He was just absolutely doomed.

* * *

It didn’t seem to get any easier with each day that passed. It also didn’t help that Claude was still not home yet. He would be in two more days. Two more. Then maybe he wouldn’t have Ryanne’s attention on him so much.

Hell, one day he even gave in to her asking each day if he was sure he didn’t want her to pick up something from the coffee shops. He couldn’t help it. First of all, his sweet tooth was honestly as difficult to keep under control as ever. Secondly, she just always looked so eager to do this little thing for him. Something small to brighten his day while he was stuck here.

It made his guts all melty and marshmallow-y.

Everything about her did, really.

Yet, he was also being eaten alive by the acidic feeling of guilt. This wasn’t okay. He had an arrangement with Claude, sure, but Ryanne? His wife? No, he couldn’t.

That night, Ryanne had somehow managed to get Gavin to bed early. “Honestly, it’s a miracle. He keeps me up way too late most nights.”

“You say that now, and you realize he’s gonna wake up in the middle of the night.”

“Sid, don’t put that out there.”

Sid raised his hands up in innocence. “Hey, I’m just trying to prepare you.”

“But now that you’ve said it, it’s gonna happen. If you’d said nothing, he would end up sleeping through the night. I thought you were superstitious enough to not jinx these things?”

“Sorry.”

Ryanne went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea – it seemed to be her nighttime routine whenever possible – before sitting down next to Sid on the couch.

Maybe a little _too _closely to him. She wasn’t cuddled up to him or anything, but there was far too much space on the other end of the couch. Ryanne could easily move over just a little bit more to the left and not intrude so much on his personal space bubble.

“You seem to be doing better,” she commented. “I’ve noticed you haven’t needed your pain meds nearly as much.”

“Yeah, it seems like I’m recovering on schedule. I know I need one more check-in while I’m here, just to be sure, but after that, I believe they’ll pass on the responsibility into the hands of the team physicians. I think. It’d be way easier than having to keep traveling out here while I’m supposed to be working with the Pens’ trainers.”

“If that’s the case, you’d be better off enlisting the help of Claude’s team.”

“Yeah, working with the Flyers…I’m desperate to get back on the ice, but I don’t know if I’m _that _desperate.”

“Maybe you’ll be able to join us for our walk tomorrow? I know you’re getting a little too wound up being trapped in here.”

“I’m not wound up.”

“Do you realize your leg has been bouncing up and down constantly since before I made my tea?”

“Um.” Sid clenched his leg to stop it from moving, but yet, he could feel the itch to get it going again.

Ryanne giggled a little before she said, “You know…I have an idea that could help you out.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she said, placing a hand on his thigh and gripping ever so slightly.

Oh…

Sid was a little frozen in place. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t come here to be a homewrecker. And yet Ryanne was here, coming onto him. Oh boy…

“I’m starting to see why Claude picked you. I always thought you were a _little _cute, but…” She reached out with her other hand and began to stroke his cheek, tracing the direction of the scruff on his face. “Seeing you like this? All pouty and restless? So vulnerable?”

Reflexively, instinctively, Sid bit down on his lip. Fuck, this wasn’t right, but this woman had been getting to him for days. And now…shit.

“And I’ve seen the way you look at me.” Fuck. Sid really, really hoped that she hadn’t caught on. But who was he kidding? Mothers see everything…even when it’s not about their kids. “I’m not wrong, am I? That the attraction’s mutual?”

Sid couldn’t lie. He nodded his head in response, but yet, he couldn’t seem to open his mouth to _say_ she’s right. It still felt too forbidden to speak into existence how he felt. How even the smallest, gentlest touch from her made his breath hitch. How safe and relaxed her attention and care made him feel, yet how his blood seemed to boil when she got too near him. How he wasn’t sure who he was more jealous of when he saw Claude and Ryanne kiss each other.

Ryanne’s eyes were dark and heavy with lust, and while Sid’s brain was panicking that this needs to stop right now, the rest of him seemed content to just ignore those voices. Stupidly, foolishly, he wanted her. And she wanted him.

She began to lean in closer, and she whispered, “Stop me if I’m coming on too strong…” before her lips met his.

The brief, glowing spark he felt was immediately replaced with deep, sinking dread.

Sid pulled himself away from the kiss as best as he could, and the hurt he saw on Ryanne’s face nearly made him regret it. But this wasn’t right. “How can Claude be okay about this?” he somehow managed to squeak out.

Ryanne just sighed. “Sidney. We have an open relationship, remember? I can have as much free reign as he does. And do you really think he’d be mad if I so happen to be into the same person he is?”

“Yes.”

Now Ryanne gave him a judging glare. Sid honestly had to wonder if this was a natural expression of hers or if it was something she picked up from her husband, because he could swear he’d seen this exact face on Claude multiple times. “Sid. It’s okay. Trust me. He’s even asked me if I’ve wanted in on the action a couple times.”

“He has?”

“I never took it seriously because I believed he deserves to have you, have this experience, all to himself. That was kind of the point of keeping things open, that we didn’t need to do everything as a couple. That we could have separate lives.”

“But…now you’ve changed your mind…”

“You’re more charming than you give yourself credit for.”

Sid could only hope that he wasn’t flushing bright pink at that.

“And I meant it before. My heart goes out to broken boys.”

Ryanne leaned in for another kiss, and at first, Sid wasn’t that responsive. But as he thought it over in his mind – that yes, the rules of the open relationship also apply to Ryanne, and so yes, it’s not like she’s cheating on Claude, and yeah, Sid’s been _fucking _her husband for years now, so why is kissing her so scandalous in his mind anyways – he realized…fuck it. He’s injured, he can’t have hockey until Christmas is over (at least)…he deserves some good things to help make up for the rest of the bullshit life has thrown at him. And if Ryanne wants to just try to kiss him back to full health? Well, who is he to stop her?

Sid began to relax into the kiss and reached out to hold her in place, saying without words that she doesn’t need to stop, _shouldn’t_ stop. Ryanne seemed to take the hint as she began to card her fingers through his hair and push the kisses deeper.

God, all they were doing was kissing, but the feel of her lips, the way she kept gently playing with the hair at the nape of his neck…this combined with the care she’s shown, her gentle yet firm personality, her sense of humor and ability to just roll with anything…he was starting to understand exactly why Claude married her. Sid felt like he could drop down on one knee himself.

Ryanne began to pull herself away from Sid just enough to look him in the eyes. Her gorgeous eyes...even though he whimpered ever so slightly as she pulled away (though he’d never admit that out loud), he didn’t mind getting lost in those for a moment.

“You know what else is interesting?” Ryanne asked him.

Sid’s voice was a little out of breath as he asked, “What?” 

“You’re the only one he’s indulged in.”

“What do you mean?”

“You probably know how part of the condition of the open relationship is that we’re, well, _open _with each other. That we share who we’ve been with. He’s only ever been with you.”

“What?” Sid didn’t entirely mean to push Ryanne away, but that’s what he did. “It’s just been me?”

Ryanne nodded her head.

“What the fuck, I…I don’t get him!”

“Sid, are you okay?”

“No! Honestly, I don’t get why he’s kept indulging me all this time. Kept humoring me. Because what the fuck does he need _me _for? You two have each other! You…you got married and have a kid now! Yeah, sure, I encourage this shit, but…fuck, I don’t have anyone else. But he gets to come home to _you_, and my god, you’re such a fantastic woman. Like…wow…I don’t get how anyone could have you and think ‘that’s not enough.’ And for _me _to be the only exception? What the fuck is wrong with him?”

Ryanne grimaced a bit at him. She began to soothingly rub circles on his thigh. “Maybe you two have needed me around more than I thought. When he gets back, I think we need to talk about how you’re feeling.”

Sid groaned slightly at that. “Ryanne, you don’t need to–”

“No, I do.” Her voice was firm and commanding for all its softness. It was a voice that made you want to shut up and listen, and Sid was ready to hang on every word, even if he didn’t like what those words were going to be. “I see what the problem here is. We can deal with it. But for now, let’s not focus on that.” Once more she swooped in to give Sid a kiss, and he certainly wasn’t complaining about it.

* * *

As he lay down next to Ryanne that night, sharing the bed together for the first time, he realized that he could get used to this…having her here, curled up next to him, drifting off to sleep…maybe he’d cook her breakfast when they woke up tomorrow. Join her when she took Gavin and the dogs on their daily walk. Actually, maybe not that, because he might get spotted. But he wanted that type of quality time with her, time together that wasn’t just her looking after him. And then, who knows, maybe when Claude got back, they could all figure out something to do together…

But wait…when Claude gets back, would Ryanne even want anything from Sid? She had Claude. Wasn’t he enough? What could Sid offer her that Claude couldn’t?

This all had to have happened just because he was _here _right now. Here while Claude was away on a roadie. Sid knew that was the point of their open relationship, to fulfill needs when they were apart.

And here Sid was, already catching feelings.

He was the biggest idiot of them all.

Though…there was maybe one exception to his idiocy. Because there it was, on cue, just as he said it would happen. Gavin was crying.

“Dammit…” Ryanne complained as she rolled out of bed. “Why’d you have to be right?”

* * *

It was in the middle of dinner when Claude finally arrived back home. At the moment, it was just Sid and Gavin in the kitchen, because Ryanne had gone to another room to take care of something. Gavin was sat in his carrier, which was on the kitchen island. He was still too young for a highchair, but they liked having him in the kitchen while they ate, so this seemed like the best compromise.

“How’s Gavy been?” Claude asked, picking up his baby son and giving him a few forehead kisses. “_Tu m'as manqué_. That means ‘I’ve missed you.’”

Sid felt awkward from his seat at the island. He knew that if Ryanne hadn’t already told Claude about what happened, she was going to. And even with her reassurance that it was okay, he still felt nervous about what Claude would think.

That was when Claude looked over at him, and his face grew into a knowing smirk. Shit.

“I knew this would happen,” he said as he put Gavin back down into his carrier. “The tension between you two was so thick that first night, I don’t think a butter knife would’ve done the job to cut it. I’m surprised I never just trapped you two in the bedroom…outside of you just coming off of surgery and all.”

Sid felt some of the tension leave him as he realized Claude was actually _wanting _them to make a move. He actually felt at ease enough to tease him a bit. “Maybe it’s also because you know you’d never be able to just leave us alone?”

“God, no. My wife and my…” Claude faltered, and Sid wasn’t sure what to think about that. He didn’t have a word for what Sid was to him?

Actually, he knew how he felt about it. Just hurt enough.

“Shit,” Claude said, a look of concern on his face. “How do I not–”

“Oh, hey, sweetie.” Ryanne interrupted her husband’s train of thought as she came back out to the kitchen and gave him a quick smooch on the cheek. “How was the trip back?”

“Good. But what I’d like to know, when Gavy’s out of earshot, is all the details between you two.”

“Did he tell you?”

“Nah. I just knew the pressure had to burst while I was gone.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“If I was that bad, you wouldn’t have married me.”

Sid looked down at his food, suddenly feeling every bit the odd-man-out here once again. It was just as he was thinking about in bed before. They loved each other. Why did either of them feel the need to include Sid in all this?

“Hey, you okay?” Claude’s voice cut through Sid’s thoughts and jolted him back to attention.

“What?” he asked, because while he heard Claude speak, he honestly didn’t fully process what was aid.

“I said, are you okay? You looked like your soul had left your body for a moment.”

Honestly? No, he wasn’t okay. “I…I think I’m gonna see if I can cut my trip here short. Go back to Pittsburgh.”

“Hey, if this because of you and Ryanne, you do realize this is–”

“I do know. You’re okay with it. She’s okay with you with me. It’s one big happy family. Only, really, it’s not. Just you three are,” Sid said, pointing at all of the Girouxs in one sweep.

“Sid?”

He couldn’t seem to stop himself. This wasn’t like him to just pour out everything that was on his mind, but for whatever reason, the floodgates had burst open. “This was a mistake coming here. I know I needed somewhere to recuperate, and yeah, you’re the only person I really know enough in Philly to let me crash here, but I could’ve found somewhere else.”

“Why’s it a mistake?” Claude asked, starting to get testy with him.

“Because before, when I was just here for a night, I was able to block out how I felt. It was easy to pretend then that I mattered. But come on…You two have each other to have and to hold for the rest of your lives. You don’t need me. You never needed me. I’ve been foolish to try to make this work, to keep you around in my life like this. But I was never going to get what I need out of this. You have no idea how _badly _I want what you have. How badly I want…” Sid finally hit something that he wasn’t sure he could say. Something he really only admitted to himself on occasion.

“Want what?” Ryanne asked him, with her soft, soothing voice. As he looked into her eyes, Sid could see that she wasn’t demanding a response. She looked at him in a way that made him feel that if he never answered, she’d be patient until he was ready to say it.

Somehow, that helped.

Sid looked back over at Claude as he thought about what was being left unsaid. He had no clue how Claude was going to take it, but if he was being honest, the man in front of him deserved to know. _Needed _to, really. Because it wasn’t fair to hide from him the truth of the matter.

“How…” Sid closed his eyes and dropped his head down. Fuck, he couldn’t look at them as he said this. “How badly I want it with you.”

Sid dared to glance back up at them, and all he could see was how shocked Claude looked. “With me?”

“With both of you. Though…that’s a more recent development.” Sid nervously scratched at the back of his neck. “But…yeah. With you. For a while now…”

“Christ, Sid…” Claude stepped closer as he reached out and grabbed Sid by the wrists. For some reason, the possibility flashed through his mind that perhaps Claude had the power to break them. It would be a fitting punishment for letting himself get too close, really. Hi, I’m the one that directed so much hate and anger at you that now you have scars on your wrists forever. Also, I’m the one that just all but said that I love you. Yeah, go ahead, Claude, break away.

But…Claude wasn’t gripping onto him in anger. The touches were firm, but soft. And as he looked into Claude’s eyes – it was really hard to escape eye contact with someone you’re the same height as – it became clear there wasn’t anger there, either.

“Sid…is that really what you wanted from this? To be loved?”

All he could do was nod his head.

“Christ…” While he let go of Sid’s arms, Claude looked like he was ready to laugh in disbelief. “Did you know out of this whole open relationship thing, you’re the only one I’ve been with?”

“Ryanne might have told me.”

Claude’s face went a tad grumpy. Must’ve not been happy that his secret was already out. “Well, did she tell you why that is?”

“No.”

“Okay. Well, we know the first time was an accident. A stupid, drunken, victory-laden accident.”

“Oh, I know.”

“Well...of what I didn’t blackout from that night…it was how choosing you wasn’t an accident.”

Sid pulled a face in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I would’ve hooked up with anyone else on that team. Even though it made me want to bash my head into the wall, I…well. Let’s just say I enjoyed playing with you _too much_.”

“Wait…so are you saying…?” Sid couldn’t get himself to finish the question because even saying it posed as a question felt like it couldn’t be real. Couldn’t be a possibility. So out of the realm of existence that saying it would only heighten just how unrealistic it was.

“I…I chose you because for whatever sick, twisted reason…I started having feelings for you. Sid, you have no idea how it felt when I saw you again the first time after Prague and you didn’t turn me down that night.”

“So it was never the _sex _that kept you coming back?”

“Not so loudly in front of the baby, Sid…” Ryanne muttered as she dashed over and grabbed Gavin. Whoops. Honestly, Sid had forgotten those two were even there. In this moment, all he could focus on was Claude and the words that were coming out of his mouth. This entire time…this entire fucking time…

Sid and Claude watched as Ryanne took Gavin into his room. Once she came back out, Claude looked at Sid again and said, “I mean…that never hurt. But, no, it wasn’t really about the sex. It was about you. I mean…fuck, I was embarrassed. Still kind of am. Of all the people on that team, in this world even, to fall for. And what did it take for my heart to start doing somersaults? A stupid laugh. That’s all it took, for you to let down your guard and just _laugh _at some stupid outdoor café…”

“How romantic,” Sid drawled. “Then again, who am I to judge, I caught feelings waking up next to you after a one-night stand. You were drooling on my pillow, and that’s when it hit me how doomed I was.”

“I don’t drool in my sleep.”

“Sometimes, yes,” Ryanne confirmed.

Claude looked scandalized. “Since when?”

“Since I’ve known you.”

“But wait, wait a second…” Suddenly something didn’t add up. “If you were falling for me, why did you never leave Ryanne?”

“I’ve got room in my heart for two.”

Suddenly, he thought of Ryanne’s comment about how Claude tried to convince her to join them. Maybe that was his way of trying to reconcile all this. If he could bring in the woman he loved, maybe it would be easier to tell Sid of his own feelings through that.

Sid looked over at her and asked, “How much of this have you known?”

“Why do you think I wanted you two to talk? I’ve known all of it.”

“And you’re okay with it?”

“Like he said, he’s got room for us both. I’ve never felt any less loved since you’ve came into the picture. And I’ve got a feeling there’s soon gonna be more love my way than I’ll know how to deal with.” As she said that, Ryanne reached out and wrapped herself around Sid’s arm.

She wasn’t wrong. And honestly, now Sid was feeling a little stupid for not understanding why Claude would want them both. Because right now, he wasn’t sure he could have one Giroux without the other.

Sid pressed a kiss to her head, and as he pulled away, he looked back over at Claude. “She’s an amazing woman. How’d you ever get her to agree to marry _you_?”

Claude laughed a little. “You know, I ask myself that every day.”

“You’re handy around the house,” Ryanne said. “Figured you were worth keeping around for that.”

“Wow, not even for the sex?” Sid teased.

“Ehh. It’s okay.”

“You know,” Claude said, “I _was _thinking about dragging you both to the bedroom. But now I’m not so sure.”

“I give it ten minutes tops,” Sid said, looking down at Ryanne. “He won’t be able to resist us for long.”

“I do have restraint, you know.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Neither have I,” Ryanne added.

“Is this just going to be a thing now?” Claude sounded a tad exasperated. “You two ganging up on me?”

“Be careful what you wish for, honey.” Ryanne batted her eyes at him all faux-innocently. Maybe even a little seductively. Or, at least, Sid found it irresistible. “Two lovers means double the teasing.”

“Let him be,” Sid said, grabbing a hold of Ryanne and pulling her in chest-to-chest. “It can just be us two again…”

He leaned in and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster. Part of it was that he wanted Claude to squirm, to cave, to drag them both away to the bedroom and have his way with them. But the other part of it was that Ryanne deserved to be kissed this way. She deserved to have every ounce of love he could give her.

Yet, somehow, without him realizing how it happened or when, Sid began to notice that he wasn’t the one in control of this kiss anymore. In fact, Ryanne was starting to guide him backwards. Yet, this wasn’t a rough kind of dominance. When they reached the bedroom, she didn’t have to shove or use force to lay him down on the bed. It was just sweet, loving caresses. Yet, they made Sid feel like he had no control over himself anymore. He was in her hands.

Sid was starting to feel lightheaded from it all.

“Claude?” Ryanne called out. “Are you sure you don’t wanna join in? ‘Cause I think we should show Sid here just how much we want him.”

Sid had to stop a whimper that was threatening to escape.

It didn’t stay that way once Claude did enter the room. His movements were more focused, more intense, where hers were gentle and flowing. Ryanne was coaxing Sid out of his shirt, and as soon as his skin was exposed, they were both on him, kissing him, biting him,

“So, umm…how healed up is everything?” Claude asked, eyeing down at Sid’s crotch.

Sid’s voice came out cracked and strained – though he didn’t care how he sounded, because he was surprised he could speak at all with how blissed out he was feeling – as he answered “Um…I’m not sure.”

Claude began to look at him confused. Ryanne had to explain, “I haven’t actually fucked him yet. We’ve only made out.”

“That’s lame.”

“I’m injured,” Sid pouted.

Ryanne took that as a cue to kiss his pouty lips. Maybe he needed to be a little whiny in bed more often with her if she found that irresistible. But he had a right to be whiny here. When he could finally feel comfortable with getting his dick involved in sexual activity, he was sure he was gonna explode like a rocket at almost the first touch, like he was thirteen all over again.

Yet, it was also his own fault for initiating this in the first place.

But…with the way Claude and Ryanne were kissing and caressing him…he could almost forget that it was only _just _that. Sid let himself sink back into the mattress and just be ravished. If he thought he had no control before, he truly didn’t now. He was falling deeper and deeper, and yet he somehow also felt like he was floating.

It wasn’t like anything else he’d ever felt with Claude…not like the few times him and Ryanne had made out…and while the sensation of having two people touching him at once was certainly contributing to feelings of being almost overstimulated, Sid knew that wasn’t the whole picture.

It was because this wasn’t just about the physical anymore.

This was them pouring love and affection into every touch. Making Sid feel _wanted_ by them.

It was the start of everything that Sid had been too afraid to ask for.

* * *

Sid felt so comfortable and content with Claude and Ryanne cuddled up beside him. This was certainly above and beyond anything that he expected when he came here. All he needed was a place where he could relax and recover, a place that could make him feel safe while everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. Yet, he was the one that stupidly picked to come _here_, where he’d be living day-in and day-out with someone he was trying desperately not to love.

Turns out, he really should’ve just gone for it sooner. But…if he’d done that, where would Ryanne fit into all this? She really seemed to be the missing piece. That without her being a part of this, it never would’ve worked. It made him wonder why she hadn’t gotten involved sooner, especially with what she knew about Claude’s feelings. Why didn’t she try to push Claude harder? But Sid guessed there was a time and a place for everything.

But now, here he was, in the middle of two people who truly cared for him in a way that no one else in his life did. Sid hesitated to say they loved him, especially in Ryanne’s case…it was definitely a little soon for that label. But…Sid was sure he’d be exchanging “I love you” with the Girouxs soon enough.

It was also weird that it took a groin injury to get him here, but…a time and a place.

Sid was starting to drift to sleep, feeling too snug and cozy to even try staying awake for long, when suddenly the sound of crying came over the baby monitor.

Claude was groaning into Sid’s shoulder, and he could feel Ryanne start to shift around in the bed.

“Wait,” Sid mumbled out. “I’ve got this one.”

“Sid?” Claude asked. “Why?”

“I’ve been crashing your place for how long now? It’s the least I can do to help out with the little one.” Even though he was surrounded on both sides, he managed to roll himself out of bed just fine. “You two rest.”

Even in the dark, Sid could see the way Claude rolled his head into his pillow. Very faintly there was the mumbling of “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

Sid just chuckled to himself before heading on over to little Gavin’s room, where the baby was still wailing away in his crib. He turned on a lamp on the dresser – better not to irritate the poor guy more with too much light all at once – and then picked him up and held him close. “Shhh…it’s okay, Gavy. I’ve got you.” The crying seemed to quiet down a bit, but not completely. There was definitely still something that the baby needed.

Sid had a hunch just what that something was. Thankfully he’d done his fair share of babysitting for his team, so he knew what he was doing when he went to change Gavin’s diaper.

“There we go…is that better?”

Ryanne’s voice suddenly startled Sid. “Oh, guess you don’t need my help after all.”

“Oh my god…I didn’t know you were there.”

“Sorry…”

“But hey, I said I got this. You didn’t have to come check on him.”

“What can I say? I’m a mommy. I’m always gonna be a little worried. Even when I leave him alone with Claude I can start freaking out.”

“I’m honestly surprised you trust him at all.”

If the look on her face was anything to go by, Ryanne was unamused by that comment. “But you haven’t been here long enough. I wasn’t sure if you’d know what it was Gavy needed.”

Sid just shrugged. “I had a feeling that I really couldn’t go wrong with a diaper change. Even if it wasn’t the cause, having something fresh doesn’t seem like a bad thing, eh?”

Gavin giggled a little, and Sid beamed at him. He was sure Gavin wasn’t _actually _responding to him, but it felt like it. The little giggles were so precious that Sid wanted to hear a few more of them. “You just think you’re so darn cute, don’t you?” he asked as he leaned in before blowing raspberries on Gavin’s tummy. The little baby exploded into giggles, and Ryanne was laughing as well. 

As she calmed down, she leaned into Sid and wrapped herself around his arm. The two of them just stood there, soaking up each other’s presence and just watching as little Gavin squirmed around in his crib. Maybe it wasn’t gonna be the easiest for him to fall back asleep right away, but it was fine. Sid thought it was worth it just to get the little boy to be so happy.

“You two really made a beautiful child together,” Sid said quietly. Ryanne squeezed onto his arm even tighter. “I just wanna help out while I still can because…because I just want to be a part of this, I guess.”

“Sidney…it’s okay.”

“Is it? I’ll be going back to Pittsburgh in a few days. I gotta make the most of what time I have here.”

“It’ll be fine. We’ll figure this out. Take things a day at a time, yeah? See where our weird little family takes us. Besides…who knows. Maybe this could wind up to where we could have a little one of our own.”

“Whoa!” Sid nearly jumped out of his skin. Thankfully Gavin was not asleep yet, because that would’ve set off more crying. “Okay…we’re going there. We’re really going there.”

Ryanne just laughed at him. “I said _maybe_, silly.”

“Still a little early to toss _that _one around. I…I think I’ll just stick to helping out with Gavy when I can.”

“Have you two forgotten the monitor picks up everything in here?” Sid and Ryanne both turned around to find Claude, who looked absolutely annoyed, standing in the doorway. “I’m trying to go back to sleep, and I can’t.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Sid quickly apologized. “Here, I’ll just go get a glass of water, I’m kind of thirsty anyways, and I’ll let you go to sleep. You too, Ryanne, if you’re tired.”

Sid pushed himself past Claude to head to the kitchen, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hear Claude’s next statement. “Really, Ryanne? You want another baby already?”

“I didn’t say _now_. Besides, it would be Sid’s. You’d be off the hook for daddy duty.”

“Would I? He’s in Pittsburgh most of the time. Unless we made him a Flyer–”

“Hell no!” Sid interrupted.

“–he wouldn’t be around enough to fully take care of a kid. It’d still be my job.”

“But would it really be so bad to raise a baby Crosby?” Ryanne followed up. Sid couldn’t see it as he got his glass of water, but he could hear the shit-eating grin on her face.

“I’m going to bed. Sid, don’t encourage her while I’m sleeping.”

“Guess you just gotta hope I always remember a condom,” Sid shot back. He turned around just in time to watch Claude flip him off before dragging himself off into the bedroom.

Ryanne came into the kitchen and decided to get herself her own glass of water. “There’s gonna be a day where you totally ‘forget’ the condom, isn’t there?”

“If it means making Claude freak the fuck out? Absolutely.”

Ryanne laughed, and Sid smiled at her, just admiring how wonderful she is.

“But one baby’s enough for right now,” she said. “Speaking of, I’m gonna check back in on Gavy for a second before going to sleep myself. See you there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be in bed in a few.”

Ryanne pressed a quick kiss to his lips before she left. As Sid stood there alone in the kitchen, he sighed a little. For all its newness and unfamiliarity, this felt so natural. The four of them really did make up a weird little family. It didn’t seem to take long for them to accept Sid into the fold. It probably helped when his history with Claude had been going on for as long as it had, but…this all felt like something Sid thought would’ve only existed in his dreams.

And yet…there was still one thing missing.

Hockey.

This was a temporary visit. It had to be. After all, every day he was fighting the itch to head out to a rink and just get himself on the ice. Sid had to keep reminding himself that he wasn’t ready for that yet, that he has to follow his recovery timeline unless he wants to hurt himself more. Every game that he watched on TV was agony, because he wanted nothing more than to be back out there with his team.

But that required saying goodbye to all this.

God, this was gonna hurt.

* * *

A few more days passed with the Giroux family. Sid did all he could to try to be involved in their lives. He helped cook dinner – sometimes to the effect of Claude flinging food at him when they disagreed on how something needed prepared – kept Gavin entertained – in fact, it seemed like Gavy fell asleep faster whenever Sid read to him…maybe he was just really soothed by a maritime accent? When Gavin needed attention, Sid would pick up whatever chore Ryanne abandoned and keep it moving along for her.

“I think you’re cut out for this househusband thing.”

Ignoring the way his heart threatened to leap out of his throat at the use of _husband _to describe him – it was just a term people used, it didn’t actually _mean _anything – honestly, Sid had to admit part of it was also because he was just so damn restless. He even pushed down his anxiety about being caught and joined Ryanne, Gavin, and the dogs on their walks – like he’d imagined before – because he was just so tired of being trapped in that apartment. If he was jumping to help with just about any task, it was because he needed something to do. And he was well enough that he no longer had pain keeping him from moving around.

So in a way, it started to feel like a good thing when his final few days were up. Yet, as he gathered all his things and went to say goodbye, suddenly Sid wondered just how much longer he could actually endure without hockey to keep him moving.

“I wish you could stay,” Claude said, in a voice that was obviously trying to hide his emotions, but was way too soft to be anything but an indication of sadness, “but I get it. Gotta go work with your trainers. Get ready to come back. You better be in shape by January so we can kick your ass.”

“Seven to one, Claude,” Sid said, reminding him of the score the last time they played. “Seven to one.”

“Yeah, remind me, why did I let you stay here again?”

Ryanne adjusted Gavin in her arms, held onto his little wrist, and helped him to start waving it. “Say goodbye to your…hmm.” She looked between Sid and Claude with a pensive face. “What _are _you in the scheme of our weird little family?”

Sid just chuckled and leaned in close to Gavin. Honestly, he wasn’t sure. In a way, he wished he could be a third parent for the little guy. But he knew he wasn’t gonna be around enough. Gavin might never really see him that way. “I can just be Sid for now. You be a good boy for your mommy and daddy, yeah? I’ll send you something for Christmas if you are, eh.”

“His first Christmas…” Ryanne’s face beamed with excitement. “We’re gonna make it so special.” 

“I bet you go all-out for it.”

“Well, _she _does,” Claude chimed in. “I help, but…I don’t think this place would look nearly as festive if it was just me living here. She’s the visionary.”

“I don’t think it’s just the _place _that would look as nice if you didn’t have me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your closet was a disaster before you met me…and still so for a few years after.”

“It was the fashion then.”

“No, it was pretty horrific to watch you dress yourself even back then. It wasn’t in style then, and it’s definitely not now.”

“Hey, _he _only wears the same two suits!” Claude said, pointing at Sid.

“I do not,” Sid said. “I just wear the same two colors.” For everything, really. Neutrals all the way. It was easier that way.

“So really, the same two suits. Just repeated.”

Ryanne started looking Sid up and down, and he wasn’t sure he liked where this was going. “Hmm…I haven’t seen anything overly gaudy going on, so I think you’re safe for now…”

For now. Yeah, one day Ryanne was totally going to overhaul his closet, wasn’t she? Was it too late to back out of this?

“However…” Ryanne started up again. “We’re holding him here too long. Sid’s gotta get going.”

Unfortunately. As he leaned in to give them both a hug – trying not to squish the poor baby in the process – and finished off with a goodbye kiss for each of the Girouxs, Sid couldn’t push down the aching feeling.

He wondered if they were feeling it, too.

Sid knew it would be easier once he was back in Pittsburgh and starting up his physical therapy regiment and starting to skate again and being with the team and at the games – even if it was from the press box – and helping out with the team’s charity efforts as Christmas drew closer…and he knew they would keep in contact. He’d text Claude more, he had Ryanne’s number now, they could do Skype calls…They’d never really be _that _far away.

But for right now, it hurt.

As he was finally heading out of the city, he realized that if Philadelphia was a place he was eager to visit before, now he’d gone and made it into yet another home.

* * *

The Skype call that came in on Christmas morning was eagerly awaited. Sid had woken up way too early that morning, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been buzzing over Christmas like this in a long time. But now he had Claude and Ryanne and Gavin to celebrate with – even over distance. If they hadn’t just gotten together, maybe he’d have been able to convince his family that, sorry, coming home to Cole Harbour for Christmas just wasn’t doable. Also, that would require breaking the news to his family about not just sliding into a relationship with a married couple, but that one half of that married couple played for the rival team. And was male. No, he wasn’t ready to have any of that conversation…

However, when he saw Claude’s judging look first thing as the video appeared on the call, Sid burst into laughter. He knew _exactly_ what that was about.

“You got Gavy a Pens jersey? Really, Sid?”

It took Sid a moment to even calm himself down enough to say anything. Claude kept staring at him in judgement, whereas Ryanne was giggling to herself. “You should’ve known I’d do this. And it’s _my _jersey, it’s not that bad.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“It’s honestly really cute,” Ryanne said. “When there’s nights where you play and the Flyers don’t, I think I’ll have Gavy wear it for you.”

“Ryanne, no,” Claude protested.

Sid laughed some more at Claude’s horror of the idea of his son actually wearing black and gold, but he also felt a little warm inside. Just for him, eh?

“He’s also got so many new books now! Storytime’s gonna be so exciting!” Ryanne hugged onto Gavin tighter as she said it.

Sid knew that just getting Gavin a Pens jersey would be rude. Yeah, he couldn’t resist the urge to troll Claude this way, but the kid needed a _real _gift. So Sid picked up a whole slew of kids’ books. He’d asked Ryanne to help him out so that he didn’t accidentally buy any repeats of what they already had.

“I, uh, I actually bought two copies of each,” Sid said. “I’ve got the other ones here with me. I figured this way, I could always Skype in and read to him myself, eh?”

The smile Claude gave him was enough to make Sid feel like his heart was going to explode.

“Oh my god, Sidney…” Ryanne, on the other hand, looked like she could cry happy tears at any moment. “You didn’t have to…”

“Look, I just…if we’re gonna do this, the three of us, I don’t wanna be a stranger in his life. Just because we’re in different cities most of the time, I still wanna be there for him as much as I can be. No, he’s not _my_ kid, but…we’re family, right?”

“You know what would make this easier?” Claude asked.

“No, what?”

“If you just moved to Philly.”

“Funny, Claude. The Pens may look fine on the surface right now but trust me when I say they’re wandering around like lost kittens without me. And that’s with a timeline of six weeks. If I left permanently, I don’t want to know what kind of disaster I’d be leaving behind.” Though…Sid certainly wasn’t gonna deny how much he missed his new family.

“Speaking of that timeline, think you’re ready to come back yet?” Claude asked.

“They’re telling me it’ll be a game-time decision if I’m back in the lineup for Friday. I’m traveling with the team to Nashville either way so I can practice with them, but…fingers crossed?”

“If you do play Friday,” Ryanne mused, “the Flyers don’t play that night…” She picked up the little Pens jersey with a smile on her face.

“Why?” Claude bemoaned.

“This is a two-team household now.”

“But the _Pens_…Ryanne…”

“It’s your fault for falling for him and introducing me.”

Claude couldn’t seem argue with that, as evidenced by the Grumpy Cat impression on his face.

“I know what will cheer you up,” Ryanne said. “Sid, why don’t you open your gifts.”

There was something about having packages labeled with “Giroux” sent to his place that sent him on edge – and, vice versa with having packages with his name sent to Claude and Ryanne. Yet, there was no way that Sid wasn’t going to get gifts for them. And he really wasn’t surprised to find that Ryanne in particular was also the gift giving type. Not that he needed anything from them…

“Why do I have to be the first one to open gifts? Wouldn’t having Claude open his gifts cheer him up more?”

“Well…”

“Ah…” Now Claude was looking bashful. “If you couldn’t tell by the fact Gavy’s gifts were opened before we called…”

Sid just shook his head in disappointment. “See? No patience. No restraint.”

“So, open yours, Sid,” Ryanne urged.

“Alright, alright. But you still didn’t have to get me anything.”

When he opened the first box, he found a pair of Christmas pajamas. In a pattern that matched what the absolutely adorable family on the screen in front of him was wearing.

“I was hoping you’d open that one first,” Ryanne said, all smiles and glee.

“Though, you’re glad we didn’t see that holiday video you were in before we ordered gifts,” Claude added. “Hope you got to keep those red silk pajamas…” Claude was laying it on thick.

Sid tossed the pajama shirt at his computer’s webcam at that, mimicking what he actually wanted to do: toss them at his face. “You’re insufferable.”

But as Sid picked the shirt back up, he couldn’t help but feel filled with joy. He’d get to match the rest of his little family today. Even from far away, all he’d have to do is look down and know that they were with him anyways. “Do you mind if I run off and change into these real quick?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t,” Claude said.

When Sid came back, Ryanne started gushing over him. “Oh, those are so precious on you.” Sid was pretty sure he was blushing a deeper red than Rudolph’s nose.

Though, he knew he didn’t need to feel so embarrassed about it. It wasn’t a teasing statement. It was said with love.

But then again…it was a lot to handle still, sometimes. To go from feeling like he had no one to having _two _people who showed him love with their whole hearts…and a little baby to add to the mix, too. He wasn’t used to the little compliments, the check-ins, the pet names and the sweet words of affection.

But…he was slowly getting there. Learning how to let all this love in.

And to think, he came to Philly to fix his body. To get surgery, recover, come back to hockey stronger than ever. But he also came out of it with the first steps toward repairing his heart.

And this little family here on Christmas morning was helping to do just that.


End file.
